Lisa's Domestic Discipline Blog

Importance of Submission in DD

2009-01-01T17:37:00.002Z

Submission is vital. DD relationship revolves around the submission of the wife to the authority of her husband. When a wife agrees to a start a DD relationship, she should understand clearly that submission from her is an essential requirement for this. If she does not want to submit herself then DD arrangement would not work out. She has to focus on her submission.

The wife shows her trust in her husband by accepting his leadership and supporting his decisions. If she does not agree with a decision by her husband, then, she could voice her opinion. But in no way she should disagree with her husband's decision. Whether she likes or not she should accept her husband's decision. It would good for her to ask her husband to explain to her why he took that decision.

The wife should obey all the rules imposed on her by her husband. If she breaks any rule, the, it should not be overlooked. She should not be able to get away be saying 'Sorry' or 'I would never do it again'. Instead she should face the consequence of her action, which would be a deterrent for her from breaking the rules. She should be disciplined fairly for her action.

Acceptance of discipline is also a part of submission of the wife to her husband. When her husband has decided to administer discipline to her, in no way she should try to evade it or refuse it. Trying to prevent punishment to be administered on her is not a trait of submission in DD context. Rather she should graciously accept her punishment in private, which would humble her and not necessarily humiliate her.

If a wife is not ill or does not have any physical problem, she should not refuse her husband. Submission cannot be complete without her co-operation in matters related to sex.

In this way, submission is a loving gift from the wife to her husband.

Feminism and Submission

2008-06-01T16:58:00.014+01:00

Many might be thinking if submission is consistent with feminism or not. Feminisim is all about women's liberty, right to vote, equal legal rights and equal property rights. It also promotes women's reproductive rights, including the right to choose whether to have an abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care. It lays focus on woman's right to bodily integrity, for protection from domestic violence, against sexual harassment and rape. There is an emphasis on equal right to employment for women. It has demaded for workplace rights for women, including maternity leave and equal pay and removal of other forms of discrimination. It's opposition to chattel marriage and ownership of married women and their children by their husbands. The most important of all it gives the women the right to make their own choice in various aspects of life.

DD is always a consensual arrangement between the husband and wife. A wife lives according to the principles of DD becuase she has agreed to do so. If there is no consent from the wife, then there cannot be any DD relationship. In DD, a wife submits to her husband, not out of any kind of compulsion, but because she has made the choice. She believes that she could be happier in her life by accepting the authority of her husband over her. In following the decisions of her husband she feels contended. Through her submission, she receives love and care from her husband. Her submission could create such a strong impact on her husband that he would not be able to ignore her in any way and would give her the attention she deserves. All these bring the wife closer to her husband and she could enjoy the feeling of being intimate. All these show us that submission is not against any principles of feminism. A wife could be feminist as well as submissive at the same time.

Oral Sex for Submission

2008-06-01T16:42:00.012+01:00

Most of the wives have satisfied their husband orally at one point of time or another. In our time oral sex is not considered as any kind of perversion, but a normal sexual act between married couples. Some wives really enjoy doing this act, but not all wives have same kind of preferences. Many others do oral sex to please their husbands. For a wife, kneeling down in front of her husband, and then satisfying him orally is a way to prove her husband that she is submissive. In this process, she denies herself any kind of pleasure but delivers satisfaction for her husband. Since submission for a wife before her husband is required all the time, naturally the matters related to sex cannot be outside its domain.

Some wives in DD are required to do oral sex as punishment. A wife who is punished in this manner says that their husband thinks that this is an effective punishment for her because she would not get any enjoyment from it but would be required to please her husband after displeasing him through her actions. But one point must be mentioned over here. During punishment, pleasure needs to be segregated from pain. Neither the wife should enjoy her punishments nor her husband should derive any kind of pleasure by disciplining his wife. Sanctity of punishment is lost when sex is mixed with punishment.

A few wives are asked by their husbands to perform oral sex after being spanked. They are told that it is a part of their punishment. Making sexual acts a part of punishment or deriving any kind of erotic feeling from it in many ways reverses the effect of the punishment and it becomes more of a play rather than any real discipline. The best way is to keep the sex separate from discipline.

Since many wives feel that for a wife performing a oral sex for her husband is an act of submission, the relation between the two cannot be written off altogether. If a wife wants to kneel down before her husband perform oral sex on him to show her submission then it should be upto her. If the husband asks his wife, to satisfy him, orally as a part of her submission in matters of sex, then, it is a private matter between the couple.

In DD, even if, oral sex is acceptable for showing submission, it is not appropriate to use it for any kind of punishment.

A guide to a wife who wants to start a DD relationship

2008-06-01T16:16:00.005+01:00

It is quite natural for you to have a lot of questions in your mind about Domestic Discipline if you along with your husband want to adopt it.

The first and foremost thing for you to understand is what Domestic Discipline is all about. Things could easily go wrong if this lifestyle is not clearly understood. If you have to adopt DD, then you have to accept your husband as the Head of Household and your husband should be ready to assume that role. You have to accept his authority over you. The goal is to have a structure in your relationship, where everyone's role is clearly defined. Submission to your husband is necessary for you for DD. It does not stop here. You should be also ready to accept that your husband has the right to discipline you if you do not meet his expectations.

Again you have to understand that DD is not for everyone. You could be in DD with your husband if he loves you dearly and cares for you. Only way DD could succeed is if you have love and complete trust on your husband. You cannot be in DD if your husband is abusive. DD should never be used by your husband to abuse you. DD has to be consensual. Both you and your husband should agree to live with the principles of DD.

You have to learn to submit to your husband. You do not have to give up your right to give your own opinion. But if you have your opinion over any issue then politely state your opinion to your husband and refrain from making a firm stand on it. Your husband would be the final decision maker. You have to obey his decision. A part of your submission would to respect him and love him dearly so that in return you receive his love, care and affection which would bring happiness in your life. The joy of submission could be your greatest achievement in your life.

It is good if he set rules for you. That would help you to understand his expectations clearly without any kind of doubts. Once you know your goals you could make your own efforts to achieve those. But again there are no universal set of rules that could be imposed on everyone. Each relationship is different and each individual is different. Based on the need of a particular individual the rules should be set. Your husband should explain to you about the necessity of each and every rule that he imposes on you. By that way you would have a clear idea about why the rules are there in first place.

Probably you are finding it hard to understand the punishment part of DD. May be you are finding it hard to accept it. Nevertheless, the provision for punishment for you is an integral part of DD. Your husband and you cannot be really practicing DD if your husband is not ready to discipline you when required or you are not prepared to take your punishment when you deserve it. The punishment is meant to be used as a way to correct you when you stray away from your path. You would benefit from receiving such punishments as they are meant to bring changes to your habits that are not acceptable to her husband. Since you would be aware that you would be subjected to punishment you would make your best effort not to displease your husband.

Punishments could be non-phsical like grounding, denial of privilege, writing lines, mouth soaping, extra chores, early bedtime etc. Then some physical punishments like kneeling or Corner Time are also used widely. But you must know this, that in almost all DD relationships Corporal Punishments are being used. Mostly it is in the form of spanking. Remember one thing that no one on this world is perfect. Everyone commits mistakes. All wives who have accepted their submissive roles in DD receive punishment. So set your expectation clear that you would also receive punishment sooner or later. Do not start thinking that if you get punished it would be very degrading for you. The purpose of the punishments should never be to degrade you but to stop you from making the same mistake over and over again.

You might have read about spankings in context of DD in various places and thinking whether DD is all about spanking. You may have even started to believe that DD is about your husband spanking you. No matter what you think or believe DD is not all about spanking. DD is the whole lifestyle while spanking is just a part of it. But you must know another truth that spanking is most widely used punishment in DD, and most couples in DD use it. You should be aware that spanking would be used as a punishment in your DD. Neither your husband should not be reluctant to spank you nor you should be unwilling to receive spanking. You must be aware of the role that spanking would have in your DD. Not only spanking is used as a punishment but also spanking could be used for maintenance for keeping you in a submissive mindset. You might have to take Maintenance spankings at pre-agreed regular interval to ensure that you are on the right track.

Before starting DD have an open discussion with your husband. Ask him what kind of behaviour does he expect from you. What kind of rules does he want to impose on you. Listen to what he says. If you have any doubts then ask questions to get your doubts clear. Discuss about what kind of punishments would your husband use when you set out of line.

When your husband and and you have agreed on all aspects of DD then you are ready to start your DD. Prepare yourself pschologically to submit to your husband. Prepare yourself mentally and physically for Corporal Punishments which are part of DD. When you are prepared then take a plunge into the world of DD.

Periodically your husband and you should discuss how things are progressing in DD. Is there any requirement for more rules for you? Has any of the existing rules lost its meaning and needs to be be taken off the list? Do your punishments need to be more severe or does he need to reduce the severity of your punishments? You are on a journey that is never ending, but should bear results all the time.

Use of Restraints for Spanking

2008-05-23T13:10:00.004+01:00

An important part of the disciplinary process is submitting voluntarily to punishment. When it is time for a wife to receive spanking as punishment for what she has done, she should face up to it, and accept it without protest. If restrains have to be used then it means that the wife is either not submitting to her punishment, or she would be too severely spanked which would make it impossible for her to stay still. Both these kind of situations are not desirable. The wife should submit to her punishment and assume the position to receive it. She should not move away from her position when she is spanked. She might wriggle after receiving a stroke or she might cry. But she should make sure that she accepts the whole of it. By receiving spanking without any restraint, she could certainly prove that she has submitted to her punishment.

Should a wife be nude for spanking

2008-05-23T13:02:00.008+01:00

Most of the wives in DD are required to take off all their clothes for spanking. It makes her feel vulnerable. When a wife has to be nude for spanking in private with her husband as the witness, she should not feel humiliated but should realise that it is meant to have a humbling effect on her. If a wife while she is nude receives scolding or is given lecture before a spanking, then it is a bit easier for her to feel sorry for her actions and have a feeling of the spanking that is coming.

However, not all wives are required to be nude for spanking. Some wives are not required to take off their shirts or blouse or tops they are wearing. Only they have their skirts lifted up and pants along with panties pulled down for spanking. If a couple realises that there might be erotic feelings if the wife is nude for spanking then it would be a good idea not make her nude. She could keep on wearing other garments after baring her bottom for spanking. Covering the bottom with skirt, pants, panties etc must be avoided because they would give a layer of protection during spanking and would reduce its effectiveness. Also if the bottom is covered during spanking then the husband might not be able to see the state of the bottom and might end up in bruising it beyond acceptable limits. If her husband can't see what he is doing, he can't know what he is doing. Even if the wife is not nude for her spanking her bottom must be bare.

Too much or too little punishment spanking

2008-03-30T15:29:00.003+01:00

The idea behind handing out a punishment spanking is to give her a clear message that what she has done is not acceptable. She should refrain from making the same mistake it in future to avoid the painful consequence. A wife in a DD relationship benefits from such kind of corporal punishments handed over to her, in a loving manner. It helps her to focus on her duties and responsibilities. She strives hard to meet the expectations.

The purpose of discipline is to bring a change in her without causing any kind of injury to her. But when a wife is spanked brutally that leaves her with permanent scars or injury marks, it can no longer be discipline, but rather is violence against her. No justification should be made for physically injuring the wife. At all cost violence should be avoided. Also during spanking a wife it is acceptable that her husband scolds her. But such scolding should never contain any kind of abusive words, because it might hurt her emotionally. A wife in DD should always know that spanking is meant to injure her, but not to bring any kind of damage to her. If she feels that her punishments are too difficult for her to handle because it crosses her pain tolerance, then she should speak out to her husband about it, requesting him to keep the spanking within her pain tolerance level. But if she faces continuous abuse in the form of punishment she should think of stepping out of the DD arrangement.

It is also equally important that punishment spanking is that it should have its intended effect. Sometimes a wife feels laid down after receiving a spanking. It is not because that she has been spanked. Rather she feels that she has not been spanked enough. An insufficient spanking would never bring the desired change in her. A wife who has embraced DD as a way of life also expects that her husband would be strict towards her. She might feel sorry for the reason she has been chastised but not just because she has been punished. A proper spanking gives the wife an opportunity to face the consequences of her unacceptable action or attitude. Once it is over she feels that she has been forgiven, which gives her a lot of relief. When her husband does not discipline her properly, she might feel that her husband is lacking his commitment towards DD by not disciplining her sufficiently. Also she could feel that her husband is still upset with her and she has not been forgiven completely. Most often she does not understand that, if taking a spanking is hard, then it is even harder to give one to the one he loves. And he has to worry about doing it just right, not too light, and not too harsh. And try to judge when to give a discipline and what is deserved? Figuring out the right intensity of spanking is not always an easy task. When a wife feels that she is not receiving enough spanking as punishment, she needs to sit down with her husband and communicate her feelings to him and requesting him to get stricter with her. The couple should work out together to determine the proper intensity of discipline that would serve their needs. Besides this, it is absolutely necessary that she should be spanked on her bare bottom. Any clothing that covers her bottom takes away a lot of impact of the spanking. Again sometimes it is difficult to spank a wife hard or for a long time with bare hands only. So it is necessary to use spanking implements to ensure severity in discipline.

Preventing Bruises

2008-03-30T15:17:00.005+01:00

The result of the severe spanking for the wife could be a bruised bottom. Again all women do not have equal tendency to bruise. Some skins bruise more easily than the others. When the wife has done something wrong seriously, then she deserves a severe spanking. Under such a circumstance, even if, bruising is not totally unavoidable, still it could be minimised. The wife should be first given a light spanking so that it makes her skin on her bottom tender. After this a gradually the intensity of the strokes or swats should be increased until it reaches the desired limit. The hard lickings should continue till the spanking is over. This would help the wife to receive the severe spanking, with least amount of bruising. She gets the full effect of the thrashing with least damage to her skin.

Her diet can greatly affect how easily she bruises. The main factors that influence how easily she bruises are vitamin C, K, or B12. In addition folic acid plays a big role. All of these components have a direct effect on how her blood clots and deficiencies in any of these can lead to bruising more easily and the bruises lasting longer. She can help her body maintain proper levels of these by making sure that she eats plenty of whole-grain and enriched breads, cereals, and grain products, vegetables, fruits, milk, cheese, yogurt, meats, poultry, fish, eggs, dried beans and peas, as well as tofu. Just as there are many things she can put in her body that can help avoid bruising, there are also dietary supplements that can increase the likelihood that she will bruise from a spanking. Dietary supplements that may increase bruising include fish oil, vitamin E, garlic, ginger, and ginkgo biloba. Any of these supplements used in conjunction with a blood thinning medication will almost guarantee that she will bruise easily. So it is better for her to avoid those things that increase the tendency to bruise.

Bruising

2008-03-30T14:58:00.007+01:00

The spanking basics should never be forgotten. A bottom that hasn't been spanked in several days would be far more tender and would bruise more easily than one that has received regular attention. When she is spanked for the first time it would appear more severe to her than on the subsequent occasions, because she is not used to spanking and it would come as a shock to her body. She might bruise more when she on her initial spanking. Gradually her body would adjust to receiving the spanking and her bottom will get tougher with the spankings. She won't bruise near as much each time her bottom is toughened. However, if she is spanked hard, she could still bruise.

When the wife has done something seriously wrong, a severe spanking might be necessary. Most of the times severe spanking, lead to bruising which remains for several days. Certain implements like the cane, leaves marks on the bottom. If properly done, the marks on the bottom from a severe spanking could remind her for several days that she should not repeat the same mistake again. Every time she has to sit she would have to remember that she had been spanked and why she had been spanked.

Even though during most severe spankings, bruising is unavoidable, but still it needs to be minimised to avoid any serious injury. The wife would be able to endure a much longer, harder spanking if her husband start out slow, preferably with his hand. Changing implements from say, a belt, to a brush, and back to the hand woould help her to tolerate a more severe spanking. Breaks could be given if needed, and she would be sent to the corner for a few minutes before going on. Both sides of her bottom should be spanked equally. Hitting the fragile tail bone with anything hard like a wooden brush should be avoided. The very lowest part of her bottom and upper thighs are highly sensitive, and should only be spanked in extreme circumstances.

Using Arnica cream or Arnica Montana homeopathic pills could speed up the healing of the bruises on the bottom. If the wife has marks on her bottom after a hard spanking then she should regularly apply the cream or ointment to her bruised bum till all the marks disappear. Alternatively, her husband could place her over his knees, bare her bottom and rub the cream or ointment on her bottom. Such after care from her husband would reassert that her husband loves her and cares for her. This would help to increase the intimacy between the husband and wife and make the bond between the couple stronger.

If the bottom is having welts then she should not be spanked, and the spanking should be postponed till all marks from her bottom disappear. All types of actions should be taken so that the bottom heals up quickly and the wife could be physically ready to receive her next spanking when she deserves it.

Crying during spanking

2008-03-30T14:19:00.003+01:00

Women are usually more emotional than men and often cry to release their emotions. While receiving a spanking often the wives ends up crying. Sometimes it could be the tears of pain, but in most of the cases it is an emotional release. The flow of tears cannot be always a measure of the intensity of spanking. Just because the wife is crying during spanking, does not always means that she had enough, and her husband might not need to stop the spanking and could carry on. Again, emotional levels of all women are not the same. Some wives do not cry when they are spanked. It is not always a good idea to keep on spanking the wife till she cries. The spanking could be effective enough for the wife, even if she does not cry at all.

If a wife feels like crying during her spanking, then she should not hold back her tears. But rather she should let her tears flow. Even if she is crying, still she should not move out of her position, or in any way try to interrupt the spanking. She should let the spanking to continue till it is over. Crying is good in the sense that it helps to release her emotions. If the noise is an issue, then she should not cry loudly. She should press her face against a pillow to dampen the sound of her cries. Else she could cry softly or silently.

Corner Time

2008-03-16T09:34:00.017Z

It is traditional to use Corner Time along with spanking as punishment. Normally, the wife has to do a Corner Time after she has received her spanking from her husband. She has to stand facing the wall or the corner of the room with her bottom bare and on display for her husband. Her hands should be over her heads or her waist or the hands should be placed on the sides. She should not rub or touch her sore bottom while she is standing in the corner. Some wives are required to touch the wall with their nose and maintain the contact during the whole time. As variation of Corner Time, some of the wives are required to kneel facing the wall instead of standing. Just like spanking, the Corner Time should also be done in private. The wife is required to stand in the Corner for a fixed time duration or till her husband tells her that it is over.

Corner Time has got a purpose. It is the time for the wife to reflect on herself what she had done wrong that had earned her a spanking in the first place. In case of Corner Time after spanking, she could feel her sore bottom which has a humbling effect on her. It gives her a time to clam down and focus her thoughts. She get her time to think how she could improve herself and avoid creating problems. If she feels like crying, then she should not hold her tears, but she should let her tears flow, which would help her to calm down. Even if the husband or wife had any erotic feeling arising out of the spanking or as a result of spanking, during the period of Corner Time all such feelings would subside and it would totally segregate erotic feelings from punishment. After being spanked, Corner Time gives her the time to calm and compose herself, so that once it is over she could put on or rearrange her dress and proceed for her normal activities.

Some might feel that Corner Time is meant for humiliating the wife. But humiliation is not the motive behind the Corner Time. Since it is done in private, with her husband the only person to witness it, the wife should not feel that she has been degraded.

When a wife has do her Corner Time after being spanked, it could be quite unpleasant. Her bottom might be sore and burning. But she is not allowed to touch or rub her bottom during this time. However, not all the wives are required to do their Corner Time after spanking. Some have to stand in the corner before a spanking and some have to stand in the corner in between the spankings, when there is a break. A few has to do the Corner Time before they are spanked and it gives them time to prepare mentally for the spanking.

Some wives feel that Corner Time is really boring and it is hard to for then to pass the time. But still it is useful for them to undergo the Corner Time as it gives them a time to think.

Punishment Spanking guide for a wife

2008-03-08T16:45:00.013Z

A wife who wants to adopt DD into her marriage or who has recently started her journey into DD and is uncertain about how the punishment spanking has to be done could read the following procedure given below. However, please bear in mind, it has been written based on my experience in DD and the feedbacks that I got from other wives in DD. Different women could have different ideas and have different practices.

Before spanking

Probably the most difficult time is the waiting time before a spanking. You know that you are going to receive a spanking and you can anticipate that it is coming. Do not be upset just by thinking that you are going to be spanking. Like you, other wives in DD also receive spanking. If you are feeling nervous, then it is normal. Be positive, and remember the spanking that you are going to receive is for your own good. If you are going to receive a punishment spanking then recall what you have done wrong that has warranted a spanking. If a maintenance spanking is due then it is a normal procedure. Do not make any attempts to evade the spanking that due. Do not make any request to your husband to skip the spanking. It was a part of the agreement between your husband and you that any wrong action on your part would have consequences. Accept the spanking as a consequence.

In the end carry on with your daily routine, as there is no need to stop your regular activities, while you are waiting.

Go with your husband into the room where you would be spanked. It should be a private affair. Some husbands have discussions with their wives before proceeding to spank her while some other husband scolds their wives before spanking. Listen to what he says. If he scolds you, remain calm and accept it.

If he asks you to bring any particular implement for spanking, then you should bring it and hand it over to him. If you are required to be nude during your punishment then take off all your clothes. If you are only required to bare your bottom only then take off your pants or lift your skirt and take off/pull down your panties. It is essential to bare the bottom for punishment, so that not only is the spanking effective, but also it would ensure your safety as your husband can see its condition while he would spank you. Now assume the position in which your husband would spank you. Co-operate with your husband all the time. It is better if you take it without any kind of restraint, because it is an evidence of your co-operation.

During Spanking

It is the toughest time when you are receiving your spanking. Do not move away from your position while he is smacking your bottom. It could be difficult at times to maintain your position because each stroke is hurting you physically, and there is a natural tendency within you to move away. Do your best to stay still.
If you have children in your house then sound would be a problem. There could be two possible source of sound. One is the sound of the strokes landing on your ass. The other is the sound that you may make after receiving the stroke. With children in the house the silent implements should be used for spanking. Also the TV or music system or washing machine could be turned on, whose volume would mask the sound of the spanking. Try to remain as much silent as possible, while receiving the spanking. It could be hard for you considering the impact of the stroke and pain. If you have a tendency to make sound then you could place pillows under your face and cry in the pillow. You could resort to gag your mouth as the last option. Try to manage the sound without any kind of gag. If you are unable to control sound without the gag then it could be used as a final resort. Remember that if there is distinctly audible sound then the children could get a clue about what is happening. It might be embarrassing for you to face them, if they come to hear the sounds. If you do not have children in the house, then regarding sound, the only people you have to worry, are your neighbours. Ensure that the neighbours hear nothing.

Do not touch your bottom while he is spanking you. If you take your hands off and rub your bottom, the stroke could land on your hand and could injure you. Do not try to obstruct any of the strokes. You are getting it because you deserve it.
When you are receiving the strokes, the seconds might seem like minutes and minutes as hours. It could appear as a long time for you. Be brave, be patient. It would be over.

After Spanking

If you are allowed, then rub your sore bottom, because most women want to rub their bottom after being spanked. You might like to feel the soreness of your bottom by rubbing it.
If you feel like crying then do not hold your tears. Let the tears flow out of your eyes. Sometimes for a woman, crying during or after a spanking is very powerful emotionally. She's letting down barriers. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. It does not always come from the pain that you received. Rather most of the times the flow of tears is an emotional release. A lot of women have an enormous amount of control, and can bear excruciating pain without tears. So tears alone can never judge the harshness of the spanking. If you have children in your house then avoid crying loudly, but weep softly and let your tears flow out.
Do not show any anger towards your husband because he has spanked you. Thank him for being consistent towards disciplining you. It would be nice if you hug and kiss him.
It is traditional for a wife to do her Corner Time after she is spanked. Do your Corner Time as is expected. When the Corner Time is over, dress yourself up if you want to come out before others. Arrange yourself and wipe out the tears from your face, before appearing in front of others so that they do not get an easy hint. It is better to keep it private between your husband and you.

Punishment Spanking

2008-03-08T16:38:00.003Z

In majority of DD relationships, spanking is used as a punishment for the lapses on the part of the wife. The wives are expected to maintain highest standards in terms of behaviour and household duty. Any deviation from these norms could potentially earn her a punishment spanking. When the husband decides to spank his wife, it is the obligation on the wife, who has agreed to the terms of DD, to accept it. After all it is up to her husband to decide whether she deserves a spanking or not.

Spanking is used as a punishment to dissuade the wife from repeating the same mistakes again. Also it is something that she has to accept as a consequence to her wrong actions. The wife could feel relieved after receiving her punishment, because she knows that there is no more hard feeling in her husband, and what she has done has been forgiven and would be forgotten. This would prevent any kind of stress building up between the husband and wife and this would help their bond to grow stronger.

It is always good to have some implements like hairbrush, strap, paddle etc only for carrying out punishment spankings. Such implements would help in a long way to administer the spanking effectively and safely, to have a positive impact on the wife who receives it. The implements should be kept in such a position that the wife would regularly see it and realise that the only purpose of these implements are to be used on her bare bottom to punish her, and this could help her to make efforts to avoid those implements, by living up to the expectations.

Punishment spanking should be painful for the wife to receive, but at the end she would see the benefits of receiving it. Most often a wife who has undergone spanking as punishment has felt good about receiving it and that after being spanked, the only part her body that was unhappy was her poor bottom. Spanking as a punishment should be painful enough to fit her misdeed, but should never be too excessive to hurt or injure her physically.

Insufficient spanking is as bad as over excessive punishment, because it might not have enough effect on her and it might not bring any change in her ways or attitude. So, a wife should never ask for too much leniency regarding punishment. Just like, punishment should fit the crime, a light spanking could be used for small lapses on her part, but for big mistakes or misdeeds a severe spanking is warranted.

Maintenance Spanking

2008-03-08T15:15:00.005Z

Maintenance Spanking is the spanking given to the wife on a periodic basis, and not as a punishment. A wife gets maintenance spanking at regular intervals, without committing any kind of mistakes, and it is usually pre-decided. So any wife could ask the question, why should she receive a spanking even when she did not create any trouble? Even though, apparently, such kind of spanking appears to be unnecessary, still many couples, though not all, use maintenance spanking.

There are some positive aspects about maintenance spanking. When a couple starts their DD, they could start with a regular periodic spanking, so that they get accustomed to the use of physical discipline. The husband gets rid of his inhibition to spank his wife and the wife learns to accept the spankings. She also gets to understand what would happen if she disobeys. A wife who is struggling with her submission could also benefit if she receives maintenance spankings.

How hard should a maintenance spanking be? It should just serve to remind the wife of her submission and her husband's authority. As a thumb rule the maintenance spankings should be lighter than the punishment spankings. Usually the wife is placed OTK so that there is closeness between the husband and wife during the session. Normally the husband uses his bare hands to spank his wife on her bare bottom for maintenance, but sometimes less severe implements like hairbrush, wooden spoon or belt are used for this purpose. The wife should be able to feel that this is not any kind of punishment, but something she needs to undergo as a part of her acceptance of his loving authority over her. A maintenance spanking is supposed to make the wife more obedient and more accepting of her subordinate role. The aftercare of a spanking is supposed to bring the couple closer together and make their relationship even better.

The husband and wife can discuss together about the usefulness of maintenance spanking. Not always would maintenance spanking be necessary. If the couple believes that they do not need any kind of maintenance spanking, then they should not use it at all. But there might be some others who might feel that they could benefit by using it in their relationship, then they should use it and could decide together about its schedule and frequency. Even after using maintenance spankings for long time, if the couple realises that no longer it is serving any purpose for them, then they could also discontinue it, and stick to only punishment spankings.

Maintenance Spanking could provide a lot of benefit for the wife who has just started her journey in DD. She would realise that her husband is making her accept his authority over her in a firm but loving manner. A wife, who wants to change her behaviour or certain bad habit could find maintenance spanking as reminder of what would happed if she does not change her ways. This would help her to avoid creating problems that would lead to punishment spankings, which are even more painful. Also, if a wife, who is struggling with the idea of submitting to her husband as a part of her DD obligation, is given maintenance spankings on regular basis, then, it could help to bring down her internal resistance and eventually could help her to achieve her goal of submission to her husband. The wives who receive maintenance spankings do not resent receiving it, but believe that they need it for their own good.

Spanking Positions

2008-03-02T21:42:00.088Z

There are several positions suitable for spanking to maximize its effect. The wife should receive her spanking while assuming ther position she has been instructed by her husband. It is important for her get into the position, so that her husband has a full access to her bottom for a proper spanking and it also ensures her safety as the strokes would not land in any other place than her bottom which could injure her.

Over The Knee (OTK) : This is by far the most popular position for spanking in a DD arrangement. The husband should sit with a good posture in an armless chair or at the edge of a bed or sofa, knees together. The wife is bent over the left knee with her legs restrained by the her husband's right leg. Hands can either be on the floor or grasping the legs of the chair. If the right hand flies back during spanking, it should be pinned to the lower back by the her husband's left hand.
This is a good position for hand spanking, spanking with a hairbrush, and spanking with a ruler. However this is not a good position for using implements that require a swing of hand like belt, strap, twase, cane etc. Prior to starting to spank, he should firmly grasp the her waist above the right hip with the left hand to prevent squirming off the lap. While spanking, the left hand should be used to hold her in position. OTK is preferred by many couples in DD, because it is an intimate position with husband and wife close to each other and closely connected.

Laying on bed: The wife must lay face-down on a bed. Her face should be pressed to the mattress while her hips and bottom are elevated on pillows. Since pillows are compressible, it may take three or four to achieve the proper elevation. She should place her hands beside her head. This is a relaxed, comfortable position which works well for lengthy spankings. This position is good for spanking with belt, strap, twase, paddle, cane.

On all fours: The wife should be on her hands and knees, typically on the bed or floor. Almost any implement can be used.

Kneeling on chair: The wife must kneel on the seat of a padded chair (save those knees) facing the back of the char, with the thighs vertical and upper body forward over the back. Again, she should be required to arch the back well. Two things conspire to shape his or her bottom cutely. First, the back of the chair prevents him or her from bending so far as to preclude a good back arch. Second, just as high heels shape calves fully by angling the foot to shorten and bulge the calf muscle, kneeling with the calves at right angles to the thighs seems to allow the buttocks to bulge fully.

Bend Over the chair or stool: The wife stand in front of the chair and should bend over a chair by placing her hands on the seat or the armrests of the chair.

Bend Over the table: The wife must bend over a table with nose or chest pressed to the table top. Hands and arms should be placed on the table over their head to further arch the back. She might hold the edge of the table or the legs of the table (in case it is a small table) with her hands.

As a variation to increase the severity, she might be asked to be tiptoed, to further elevate her bottom to be spanked. She must place her weight on her toes and raise up her heels from the ground. Penalty swats can be awarded by her husband for every incidence of a heal touching the floor.

Bend Over the bed: She has to stand by the side of a bed and bend over the bed by placing her palms or her arm on the bed. This position is useful for spanking inside the bedroom.

Over a barstool or horse: This is probably the best position for paddling because the bottom is presented in a plump and relaxed manner. The wife must lay her full weight across the stool, her feet hanging and her hands grasping the legs of the stool at a level such that there is a little support for their upper body.

Over the Back of the Couch: The wife has to lie across the back of the Couch so that her feet is on the floor and her hands on the seat of the couch. In this position her bottom would on the top of the back of the couch and fully exposed.

Sitting: The wife should sit on a chair facing the backside of the chair or stool. Her upper body is pushed down and ass cheeks should overhang the chair or stool. This position would only expose the upper portion of her bottom and not the sit region of the bottom. After receiving spanking in this position she should not have any problem with sitting.

Standing: The wife should stand near the wall. Then she should place her hands on the wall and lean forward. In this position a quick spanking can be handed over to her.

Hands on knees or Hands on the legs: The wife should stand with her feet shoulder width apart and she should bend to hold the back of her knees. A technique which tends to arch the back correctly is to require the wife to look forward at a spot high on the wall rather than lookking at her feet. That way, she is required to pull her head up and arch their back. This is position suitable for paddling and caning.

Hands on ankles or Toucking the Toes: This is a position which is more difficult than the hands on knees. The wife must stand well clear of obstacles with feet shoulder width apart. Leaving knees straight and back straight, She must bend over and grasp her ankles with both her hands. Instead of holding her ankles she might be allowed to just touch her toes. The husband may want to observe his wife's hands throughout the paddling to ensure they do not leave the ankles and earn extra swats.

The husband stands facing the left side of the wife. They should stand far enough away so the implement barely overlaps past the right cheek. They should adjust before and after to ensure that both cheeks are struck at the same time.

The bottom of the wife gets the maximum exposure while she is in this position. Caning is the most painful for her in this position as the skin on her bottom is stretched to the maximum.
This position can only be maintained by those with flexible bodies. Those with inflexible people can't reach their ankles without bending their knees.

Diaper Position: The wife has to lie on the bed or sofa on her back. Her husband should lift her legs in air and hold her legs with his left hand to keep them in position. Then he should proceed to spank with his right hand. This leaves the sit area of her bottom exposed. She could be spanked with a strap or a tawse or cane on her sit area and it would be quite painful for her. She would have problem with sitting afterwards. She would be remember that she has been spanked everytime she has to sit.

Spanking Implements

2008-03-02T21:33:00.048Z

Some wives in DD get spanked by hand. But the problem with hand is that it wears out quickly and giving a long session of spanking with hand is difficult. Also a severe spanking cannot be administered by hand. In many cases where the wife has only been spanked with hand, she felt that she had not been spanked for enough length of time or with enough severity. So it is always a good idea to use some implements for spanking. There should be some spanking implements in the house dedicated only for the purpose of spanking. The presence of these implements would serve reminder to the wife what she could expect if she creates any trouble.

Hairbrush: Hairbrush is one of the common, easily available and inexpensive spanking implements. The backside of the hairbrush is used for spanking. It is normally made of wood, but sometimes it could be made of plastic also. It can be used very effectively while the wife is placed OTK.

Wooden Ruler: Usually a wooden ruler is not as painful as a hairbrush or a wooden paddle because of its light weight. If a ruler is used for spanking, it should be held perfectly flat (at the point of impact), otherwise bruising could occur easily where the edge hits. It could be used while the wife is in OTK position.

Paddle: A spanking paddle is a usually wooden instrument with a long, flat face and narrow neck, so called because it is roughly shaped like the homonymous piece of sports equipment, but existing in more varied sizes and dimensions, (length, width and thickness) used to administer a spanking. Historically, wooden paddles for spanking were most popular in the U.S.A. They always make a loud noise. The actual pain depends very much on the clothing worn, the paddle's size, material and weight, and how hard it is swung. Paddles with holes drilled through the board sting more because the holes reduce the air resistance and prevent the building of an air cushion.

Belt: The belt is commonly used for spanking in Latin America. With the belt there is a risk that it might warp around the waist and could hurt the front portion. To avoid this the belt should be double folded to get a better control. It does not leave bruises or welts.

Strap : The strap is another implement which is quite convinient for spanking. Leather straps are thinner and shorter variations of the belt, and better designed for spanking. However, the thinner ones are too floppy to control, and the thicker ones gives more pain and sometimes bruises. Because of itsa flat surface, tt makes a loud noise when it is used. Staps could be very effective for spanking.

Tawse : Tawse is a traditional implement for spanking in Scotland. It is like a strap but its flat surface is divided into two or more "toungues". They are said to be extremely painful and can also bruise a lot.

Birch: A birch rod (also known as a "birchrod" or simply a "birch") is a bundle of thin birch twigs bound together. Throughout written history up to the 19th century, the birch rod, next to various kinds of whips, was the most popular spanking implement in Europe. Birch rods are only painful if used on the bare skin. Even a thin layer of clothing absorbs much of their effect because the individual twigs are very thin and lightweight. The pain produced by this implement begins surprisingly mild but increases cumulatively with the number of strokes. Birching leaves a criss-cross of thin red lines on the skin. These look serious, but will usually disappear within a few hours - they are actually not half as bad as the bruises produced by a strap or cane. Birches (and some types of willow) are the only trees whose twigs are thin and flexible enough for this purpose. The rods should be prepared freshly (i.e. used on the same day they are cut from the tree). When they dry out, they become brittle, lose flexibility, and break easily. Soaking them in water will give them even more flexibility and reduce breaking. Also be warned that the room in which a birching was given will need cleaning of the broken-off twigs afterwards.

Cane: Cane is one of the most severe spanking implement. It is regarded as a traditional implement for spanking in Britain. It cannot be used while the wife is in OTK position. The wife has to bend over to receive the cane, as it stretches the skin and exposes more surface of the bottom available for the strokes of the cane to land. When the stroke of the cane lands on the bottom there would be a initial pain due to impact and after a few seconds the sting could be felt. Caning on bare bottom is stings a lot and usually leaves a mark on the skin. The thicker and heavier canes causes more bruising than the thinner and lighter ones. If anyone wants to use it, then the rattan cane, which is flexible, should be used. The bamboo canes is inflexible and it might split and cut the skin and should never be used. Usually a few strokes of cane has enough effect. It could be used for handing out a severe discipline quickly.

Switch: A switch is a straight, slender rod cut from a bush or tree. It differs from a "stick" in the respect that it is thinner and more flexible. This flexibility places a switch somewhere in between a thin rattan cane and a birch rod. Many bush and tree species can be used for this purpose, as long as they have straight, young, slender and flexible rods, but it is difficult to find a really good switch. Making a switch only involves cutting it from the stem and removing twigs or directly attached leaves, as those would lessen its sting. A few also peel it with a potato peeler to remove the outer bark in order to make the surface less rough. For optimal flexibility it is cut fresh shortly before use, rather than keeping it for re-use over considerable time.

Once cut, switches cannot be stored for long because when they dry out, they become brittle and will break easily. To prevent this, some people recommend soaking switches in water for a few hours before usage, which will make them more flexible and reduce the chances of breaking.A good switching is very effective leaving stripes on the bottom. It is one of the dreaded punishments.

Riding Crop: Riding Crop is a stick-like striking implement with a small flap of leather (or leather-like) material at the tip. It is commonly used in horseback riding to gain a little speed in the saddle. The crop can be used on bare bottom for spanking in a number of ways that vary the intensity of the blows. With a flick of the wrist and an almost stationary arm it can produce a small slap to the skin. With the addition of even the slightest bit of arm movement it can produce a deep bruise. Riding Crop can be used for spanking to provide sharp stings.

The above mentioned implements are not the only implements that are used for spanking. Rather these are the most commonly used implements. There could be other implements which could be used effectively for spanking.

Submission and Discipline

2008-03-02T21:24:00.003Z

Some wives are submissive by nature. For a born submissive wife, accepting the authority of her husband, comes natuarally to her. She faces the least trouble in her journey to submission. But not not all the wives have the same kind of mental setup.

There are many wives who are not submissive and even could be dominating or controlling in nature. For such a wife, submission becomes a real challenge. Even if she has decided to be under the control of her husband, they find it to be a tough journey. On one hand she wants her husband to have authority over her while on the other hand she struggles to overcome her internal resistance against giving up the control. Most likely she would be unable to achieve, what she wants. She desperately needs external effort to bring her into to the path of submission. Use of discipline, particularly the physical discipline helps to reduce her internal resistance that has build up within her, which in turn makes it easier for her to overcome this resistance in her pusuit for submission. Also she could benefit from being disciplined by her husband when she deviates from the path of submission. She should view the discipline that she received for this purpose as necessary and should never feel bad about receiving it. Even if the discipline has been uncomfortable to her, it would eventually bring her the joy of acheiving her objective.

If a wife is struggling too much to give up her control to her husband she could work out a plan with her husband which would invlove maintenance spankings to be provided to her at a regular interval which could range from daily to weekly basis. She should recieve maintenance spanking from her husband, OTK on her bare bottom. This would help in a big way to put her in a submissive mindframe. Once she feels that she is vulnerable to receive spanking from her husband by lying over the knee, it would be much easier for her to accept his authority.

Submission is a never ending journey. Even a wife who have remained submissive for long time sometimes disregard the authority of her husband. She has to be chastised by her husband, as a consequence of her action. Whenever she deviates from her path she should not just ask for forgivess, but should bravely receive the discipline in the true sprit of DD.

Grooming a submissive wife

2008-02-27T18:15:00.005Z

None of us is perfect. Similarly a wife who has submitted herself to the authority of her husband, most probably, does not know exactly what is pleasing to her husband and what is not. That is why, It would be very unfair for her if her husband criticises her before others. Because she would loose the respect of the people and this could hurt her soul. Rather, if she has placed herself under the authority of her husband, he should guide her to do the right thing in the right manner. The wife should request her husband to groom her so that she learns to behave and act in the manner that would make her husband happy. No one can change one's way overnight. Any change in behaviour needs time. Her husband should be patient, but firm, with her in training her.

The process of grooming could involve the appearance, dress, behaviour and responsibilities. Even if her husband does not cover all areas she could take steps from her side to improve those.

A wife should ideally be always attractive to her husband. This would help to build a stong bond between the two. The physical appearance of a wife must be covered under the grooming process. The wife should keep herself clean. Any kind of foul body odour is quite repelling. She should take bath regularly to prevent body odour. She should wear light makeup to make her features more prominent and beautiful. She should make her hairs. She could wear nail polish, or have her nails trimmed. Most of the husbands find body hairs of the wife as a reduction factor of her beauty. Moreover the today’s society does not have a positive view on the visible body hairs of a female. At our time it is a norm for women to shave their underarm hairs. It’s kind of an unspoken rule that once a woman has hair in her armpits, she needs to start shaving it. Shaving the legs would make her legs more attractive. It gives her a clean and pleasant appearance. In addition to this, it would be a good idea to shave right there. She could choose a bald appearance or leave a very thin line of pubic hairs. Alternatively she could choose to trim her pubic hairs. Please do not think that good wives do not shave their pubic hairs. Instead, by shaving, she is lifting the veil of pubic hair that comes between her husband and her, and in complete trust revealing the divine creation of her genitals to her husband's loving eyes and touch. By taking off her clothes she could be nude, but she needs to shave her body hairs to bare herself completely before her husband.

Wearing right dress at right place is important. While going outside the wife should be dressed in a manner that she appears like a lady. She should neither be too conservatively dressed nor wear too revealing outfits. Another way to state it, is that, she should not appear like a nun who completely hides her physical beauty. Also she should not appear as a slut and attract unwanted attention of the people around her. She should appear like a married woman. It might be totally different inside the house. She might be required to wear loose clothes so that she is comfortable to carry on her household activities. Her husband might require her to wear skirt or pajamas without any undergarments so that she is easily accessible to him. It could also make her feel a bit vulnerable, because she knows that her skirt could easily be lifted or her pajamas could easily be pulled down by her husband to make love with her if her husband desires or to give her a spanking if she has done anything wrong. Her vulnerability could contribute to building a submissive mindset. If her husband requires her to sleep without any cloth she should not hesitate to sleep nude in the bed. If it is not mandatory for her to sleep nude then she could choose to wear a loose nightdress, that could be easily taken off when she needs to make love with her husband.

The wife must show the right attitude. She should not argue with her husband. In presence of others she should not contradict him. If she has any different opinion she should sit down with her husband in private and explain her point of view to him. She could request her husband to change his decision but should not demand it. She should accept the decision made by her husband as she has accepted his authority. She should never speak with her husband with a quarrelsome voice. She should speak softly with her husband. If she is not sick, she should be ready to have sex with her husband. When her husband approaches her, she should engage with him in the act. She should learn all about foreplay to arouse each other and lovemaking to completely satisfy each other. When she is making love with her husband she should not hesitate to apply what she has learnt.

The wife should sit down with her husband to discuss her responsibilities. Her responsibilities should not be too much overbearing on her, so that she could be drained out altogether, if she has to observe those. On the other side she should not be left without enough responsibilities, which could make her feel bored. Ideally, she should be given enough responsibilities to keep her on her toes. Her responsibilities could include caring for her husband, looking after her kids, preparing food, keeping the house neat and tidy, she is a housewife. If she has to work outside then her husband, to make things easier for her, should share some of the domestic activities. Idea is to keep her busy and not to overburden her.

A reasonable timeframe should be given to the wife to mould herself to the model proposed by her husband. She should put her best effort to adjust herself to meet his expectation. Her husband should monitor the progress made by his wife.

Her husband should not underestimate the need of disciplining his wife, if she does not pick up within an acceptable timeframe. The wife should understand that the discipline handed out to her by her husband for such a reason is not to discredit her, but to send her a strong message that she needs to learn quickly to change herself.

The wife should appreciate all the efforts by her husband to groom her in order to bring out the best qualities inside her.

My Submission

2008-02-27T17:43:00.006Z

Submission is a big requirement for me for DD. This should not be confused with the submission before God. It is only about submission to my husband. Contrary to what many people believe, it has got nothing to do with our religious beliefs.

As a wife, I should always be obedient to my husband. Whenever he decides something, I should accept it, instead of disagreeing or arguing over it. I can give him my suggestions or my opinion. Always, he listens to them carefully. If he finds those reasonable he accepts them. Otherwise he would say no. His decision is final for me.

He has given me the freedom to do whatever I like to do. But at the same time I am accountable to him. He would look at what I am doing and would decide whether that is acceptable to him or not.

Both at our home and outside I have to show respect for my husband. Normally my husband treats me with respect before the public. He has never been inclined to humiliate me in anyway. In this respect, I know that, I differ from many other ladies, who feel humiliation should be a part of DD. My husband has expressed that he wants to transform me to a respectable lady from a troublesome wife. Surely, I would be very glad, if he succeeds.

The house should be kept in order. As a wife it is my duty. Whenever he has time, he helps me on this. Looking after my kid is my responsibility. As a mom, I have to teach my kid what is right and what is wrong.

I also understand that he expects me to co-operate completely with him in matters related to sex. Turning down my husband when he needs to have sex, could be one of the worst types of disobedience, which would really make him discontented. If he were left dissatisfied then it would have an effect on his love and affection for me, and ultimately our relationship would suffer. It is of paramount importance that I should make myself available to him when he would wish to have sex with me. Never, I have failed to submit to him for this. This has ensured that we are happy and satisfied in our relationship.

I have to shave myself regularly, because my husband wants me in that way. My husband hates to see me with the 'bush' in between my legs. I am clean shaved right there. My husband likes my bald appearance. I know that many ladies shave themselves. Especially, shaving is very popular with the American and many European ladies.

Last but not the least, is I have to accept the discipline, when my husband needs to use it. In our bedroom we have a collection of canes, hairbrush, a wooden ruler and a paddle. These are only there to be used on me. It gives me a strange feeling.

My effort to become submissive has been a long journey for me. In the beginning I have struggled a lot with my submission. It took quite some time to get myself into the groove. I have come a long way but still there are miles to go. Still I am learning to improve myself.

Submission and Wifely Duties

2008-02-02T09:59:00.000Z

One of the goal of submission is to be a better wife and mother. The wife is the home maker. She should get proficient in domestic activities and perform her duties in a timely and orderly manner. She should make sure that everything in the house is in order and clean. Only a wife can turn a house into a home. If the wife has to work outside, then she could take the help of her husband for her household activities. A helping hand from her husband would make her work easier, as managing a career and home could be very demanding task. It cannot be always avoided. Financial needs for the family might dictate both husband and wife to work outside. In such a situation they should split the domestic activities between them.

Sex is the physical aspect of marital love. It brings two souls together to create a family and is responsible for bringing new soul to this world. A wife who believes in submission should always be mentally, emotionally and physically ready for sex when she has private time with her husband. Since sex forms an important aspect of marriage, she should not ignore it. She should learn to give pleasure to her husband through it and receive pleasure from it. The husband and wife are the most intimate when they have sex. They also can feel the inside of each other, which makes sex so beautiful. Even if she is not in a mood to enjoy sex, she should co-operate with her husband of he wants to have it. At such times, she might chose to remain passive and let her flow with the rhythm in which her husband is engaging with her. She should not deny her husband the pleasure that he could obtain through sex. She could let her husband know about her desire when she feels like having sex. She should be allowed to receive as much fulfillment as possible through sex, so that it satisfies her desire and makes her happy. A good sex increases the bond of love between the husband and wife. Only time she should refuse to have sex is when she is sick or has health issues and no force or pressure should be applied to her.

However, if her husband wants to impregnate her, it should not be expected that she has to comply immediately. Giving birth of a child should be the joint decision of the husband and wife, as it brings additional responsibilities. Both the husband and wife should be mentally prepared and financially capable to look after the child that is going to be born. This one is not just a matter of submission of the wife before the will of her husband, but also it about welfare of a child who is going to be born. At the same time the couple should not overlook their obligation to become parents. If the husband want his wife to bear his child then the wife should prepare herself to fulfill his wish. Also if the wife desires to have a child from him, the husband should step in and let her bear a child. Again the husband and wife can come together to plan when they should have their child. She should bear the child of her husband. Her pregnancy is the outcome of her love for her husband. The joy of bringing new life to this world would be revealed to her.

She has to care for the kids. The child learns first from the mother. It is important for her to show the kids the right things and give then right ideas. A caring and loving mother is the most important for the well being of a child. The child would feel secure and happy in her company. She would be remembered for her good nature by her kids even after they grow up.

In presence of outsiders she should not criticize her husband. She should avoid disagreeing with her husband in front of the others. If she has any different opinion she could tell her husband when they are alone or in private.

When the wife goes out she should behave like a lady. She should be well groomed so that she is well mannered. This would help her to earn the respect of the people around her.

Submission and Religion

2008-02-02T09:40:00.000Z

Many religious-minded women link their submission to the practice of their religion. Some feel that their submission to their husband is the path towards the submission to the God. However, for others it is the other way round. They believe that a wife should be submissive towards God first, which would help her to be submissive to her husband. They think that if a wife is not following God's way then she would not succeed to respect the leadership of her husband. Their submission to their husbands grow out of their submission to God.

Most of the religions have called the wives to submit to the authority of their husbands. So if a woman is religious she is most likely to be submissive to her husband. But there is another group of wives who do not necessarily submit themselves out of their religious beliefs. It is rather their love or trust for their husband, which drives them to submission. They believe that a structured relationship would ensure peace and harmony in their married life. The wives accept their husband as Head of Household and they accept their authority.

Even though religious-minded wives are more likely to get themselves into submission, still it is possible to spot out wives who are not actively practicing any religion, but have a stong faith in submission.

Reasons behind Submission

2008-02-02T09:37:00.000Z

Regarding the issue of wife's submission to her husband, different people have different ideas about the driving force behind it. Should she submit becuase of the religious convictions? Or, should she submit out of her love for her husband?

Lot of wives believe that religion calls for the wife to submit to her husband. That the God would be displeased with a disobedient wife. To remain true in her faith she should obey her husband. They strive to submit themselves to their husband in accordance with their religious beliefs. According to them if they have to submit before God then they have to surrender to their husbands.

However, not all the wives submit out of their religious beliefs. Some wives are naturally submissive. They enjoy to feel the authority of their husbands over them. Out of their natural instinct they follow their husbands.

Some wives submit to their husband out of the their love and trust for their husbands. Avoiding conflict, ego clashes, power struggle within the family is the motive, which would lead to peace and harmony in their family life. They feel that their submission would be the best gift to their husbands. By surrenderding to their husbands they expect to win the hearts of their husbands and get more love and affection.

Submission - Strength or Weakness

2007-11-23T17:03:00.000Z

In our world, many women are forced to adopt a submissive role under compulsion or various kinds of threats. Mental torture and physical violence against them breaks them down as a person. Fear of physical abuses against them, could compel them to follow whatever instructions given to them. Sometimes, women are in situations where they are left with no option but to blindly conform to every term dictated to them.

Submission under compulsion brings a forced compliance and is a not a true form of true submission. A woman under such situation is yielding only under fear, and has never submitted her soul. Physically, she might obey, but inside her she might nurture a deep hatred. It is a manifestation of violence against the individual. Such a form of submission is never desirable.

But it is really applaudable when a wife surrenders to her husband on her own will. When a wife submits her body and soul to her husband, she does it according to her natural urge to submit herself. But for a wife, responding to her own natural instinct is never an easy decision. There is a lot of social pressure against it. These days, women are expected to get involved in the process of decision making. It takes a lot of mental strength for a wife to decide to surrender herself to her husband. Only a strong willed wife can obey her husband every time. She obeys because she wants to obey. She has overcome all obstacles and has succeded in her effort. Her submission becomes her key to happiness.

However, there are many women who want to be submissive but find it difficult to obey their husband on certain occasions. A wife, who wants to surrender but does not succeed all the time, needs support from her husband to nurture her desire of submission to feel her femininity. She needs to acquire more strength to surrender herself completely for the full manifestation of her femininity.

Benefits of Submission

2007-11-18T09:38:00.000Z

Submission cannot come from a weak minded person. Only a stong willed wife can submit her soul and body completely to her husband. It takes a lot of trust to engage in this manner. Only when a wife is certain that her husband loves her and would only look after her well being, she would be able to srrender herself to her husband.

Why do these wives choose submission? Apparently it is hard to explain. But there are many underlying benefits in submission.

A wife who is submissive has accepted the authority of her husband over her. So in the relationship the roles are clearly demarkated. This brings a harmony in the relationship with perpetual peace in the house and creating an atmosphere where love can blossom.

When a wife surrenders completely to her husband, she expresses her full trust in her husband. Her trust is reciprocated by her husband, who also places his trust on his wife.

Once a wife has adopted submission, her husband would have the responsibility to lead her and to guide her. This helps her to matures as a person.

Submission helps manifestation of the inner beauty of the wife. Through her submission the wife is pleasant and sweet to her husband and receives more attention from him. This helps the bond in their relationship to get stronger.

Being submissive the wife has fulfilled her overwhelming desire inside her to surrender. She is behaving in a manner that is consistent with her instinct and what nature has intended. And she is not alone. There are many women who want to get into submission but are not so lucky to get an oppertunity.

How to be submissive

2007-11-11T15:44:00.000Z

DD calls for traditional roles for husband and wife, where the husband should be the person in charge and the wife needs to submit to him. Wives who want a DD relationship or are in one, sometimes face the uphill task of getting into the act of submission. Yet the issue of submission is so complicated. Even those who wants to be submissive have hard time in figuring out how to be submissive. Some women are naturally submissive. They do not have much problem to accept the authority of their husband. But there are many others for whom submission becomes a real challenge.
Trust is the first and foremost requirement for submission. The husband and wife should have faith in each other. The wife should have the confidence that her husband loves her, always take care of her and guide her in the right path. Unless and until a wife has build up such a level of faith on her husband she would not be able to submit her soul and body to her husband completely.

Once she has the trust in her husband, she needs to build up the right frame of mind. Only if inside her mind she has she has accepted the authority of her husband, she would succeed to show her submission towards her husband.

She should make a conscious effort to follow the rules and guidelines laid down by her husband. No one in this world is perfect. Even if she breaks some of the rules, there is little harm, as long as she is trying her best to live by the rules.

She should not get into arguement or disagreement with her husband. If she has any objection towards any rule suggested by her husband or any opin ion of her husband, then she should in private in a calm manner explain to him what she thinks is right. She could discuss the whole topic in details with him. But if her husband sticks to his decision then she should not escalate it any further. Also in public she should not disagree with her husband.

She should sumbit to her husband when he wants to make love her, without any kind of resistance. She can never be fully submissive without submitting her body to her husband.
It is never a bad idea to initially undergo several sessions of spanking to be in submissive mindframe. It is much easier for a wife, who is resistant to submission, to accept the authority of her husband with a sore bottom. Accepting the spanking delivered by her husband is another aspect of her submission in DD relationship.

Last but not the least the wife has to be pleasant, caring and loving towards her husband. Submission could be so sweet.

Submission in DD

2007-11-02T03:41:00.000Z

A wife's submission to her Husband is an essential foundation upon which a blissful marriage sits. She needs to be submissive towards her husband and should accept her husband as the Head of Household. The dynamics of a DD relationship would never work out without this submission of the wife to her husband.

Submission is a complex issue and it is a misunderstood concept also. Being submissive does not mean behaving like a doormat. Women who believe this are usually the ones who will be the first to deny that they are in any way submissive. This is because they misunderstand what submissiveness is all about. Being submissive does not mean losing her personality and becoming a doormat with no opinions, no ideas and no zest for life. Submission is not about that. Submission is about getting in touch with the deepest parts of your femininity, parts that many women deny or repress. When a woman does get in touch with these feminine characteristics that lie deep within her own psyche, she will suddenly and brilliantly flower, because all the energy that she previously dedicated to repressing parts of her own character has been suddenly liberated. All that energy can now be put to use expressing who she really is, as a beautiful and free woman, instead of being tightly locked inside her, crushing her own self identity.

It is important to look at how a wife's submission works in practice. Submission is not obedience however obedience comes from submission. As a part of submission a wife should be obidient to her husband. This does not means she does not have any say over any matter. In contrary, she is always free to give her suggestions and give her opinion to her husband. But the final decision should be made by her husband. If her husband does accept her view, she should not press any further. She should accept her husband's decision.

The wife should understand that her husband has complete authority over her and she must submit to his authority on everything. She can not be a part time submissive wife, She cannot decide for herself which bits she will submit to. A submissive wife submits to her Husband on everything and all the time.

A submissive wife submits herself to her husband's guidance. She receives the instuctions from her husband regarding what she should do and what she shouldn't. This helps her to become a better wife and mature as a person.

The wife learns to ask her husband for his permission before she does anything. She should refrain herself from doing what her husband has forbade her to do.

From a DD perspective, a wife should consider punishment as a consequence of her wrong actions. If her husband decides to punish her, then she sould submit to the punishment and should not resist it.

Why do the wives support spanking

2007-09-28T12:25:00.003+01:00

An easy guess could be the strong erotic element associated with spanking as the reason for the wives to consent it. But a severe spanking might be too much to give any kind of erotic feeling. Even without any kind of erotic feeling the wives accept spanking. They are not averse to the use of spanking as a form of punishment.

There could be several resons for this. The spanking received by a wife helps her to mature within the relationship. It makes her feel more feminine. It brings out the natural submissive side in her and it becomes easier for her to accept the authority of her husband. She is also held accountable for her actions. It helps her to overcome her ego and attitude problems.

Punishment spanking might make her feel like he really cared about her if he cared enough to correct her. If such feelings are motivating her to want him to punish her, then there is nothing wierd or wrong about it. A lot of wives who live this lifestyle, while they don't relish real punishment spankings, feel very loved and cherished by their husbands who care enough to exercise a little correction and guidance when they truly need it.

After receiving a punishment spanking for offending her husband, she might feel that all has been forgotten and forgiven, which could bring a great relief in her mind. It leaves no hard feeling between the couple. Occational physical discipline for purpose could help her to become a much better wife who receives more love from her husband and which in turn results in a happy married life for her.

Is spanking degrading for the wives

2007-09-27T12:04:00.000+01:00

In a DD arrangement the wife is spanked by her husband in private as a form of correction. It could appear that to undergo a spanking is a horrible thing for the wife. But in a DD lifestyle it is the act of commitment towards the relationship.

If a wife is spanked in public or in presence of an outsider then it is really humiliating for her. It is disgraceful for her not because she is spanked but for others witnessing her chastisement. However, if she is spanked behind the closed doors, in full privacy, then she is spared from the humiliation before others.

The wives who are involved in DD relationships have a positive view about the spanking they receive. They are supportive of their husband for spanking them. Some of the wives complain that their husband is reluctant to spank them for the fear of hurting them. Also some wives are unhappy because their husbands do not spank them hard enough. This shows that the wives who are in DD relationship feel that there is a need for spanking.

Is this blog a promotion of DD

2007-09-27T11:14:00.001+01:00

The purpose of this blog is to share my understanding of DD with others. I am also looking forward to see comments of others and know about their opinions. The content on this blog is based on the information and experience that I have gathered. So I do not intend to mean that the information is complete or conclusive. It is possible that others might have different opinions related to the various aspects of DD.

I do not intend to persuade anyone to be involved in DD. Whether a couple should be practicing DD or not should be their decision. It is only a DD awareness site and not a DD promotion site.

Is Domestic Discipline a form of Domestic Violence

2007-09-27T11:05:00.000+01:00

A DD relationship is always consensual. It is not meant for everyone. Only if the husband and wife decide to accept DD then such a relationship is possible. When a wife agrees to be involved in a DD relationship, she clearly understands that use of physical discipline is a part of it. By adopting DD she is giving her husband the right to discipline her physically. It might appear awkward to some people, but this is the essential component of DD.

Since spanking is involved in DD many of us have a feeling that it is a form of violence. But violence always occurs against our will. In DD the use of discipline is consensual and hence it does not qualify as violence.

Spanking and DD

2007-09-27T10:53:00.000+01:00

Use of corporal punishments is widely prevalent for DD relationships. Spanking is a common form of physical correction used, which is normally administered on a bare bottom. It is not only effective as a method of discipline but also is safe.

Humiliating the wife by spanking her in front of others is no way acceptable. Embarrasing the wife should not be a part of DD. Spanking should be adminstered behind closed doors in private.

However it must be understood that though DD often involves spanking still DD is not all about spanking. DD is a whole lifestyle where spanking could be a part of it.

Use of discipline in DD

2007-09-27T10:39:00.000+01:00

Various types of punishments are used in DD. There could be non physical punishments like writing lines, grounding, loss of priviledge etc. Some physical punisments like kneeling, spanking, corner time could also be used. Though there are various kinds of discipline used, still spanking is the most widely employed method of discipline.

When a couple enters into a DD arrangement they also agree to the use discipline. The husband should not shy away from his role as a disciplinarian and the wife should not refuse to accept the discipline.

Adminstering discipline should not be carried out in public leading to humilition. Rather it should in done in private.

What is Domestic Discipline

2007-09-27T10:09:00.002+01:00

Domestic Discipline is a consensual agreement between the husband and wife. It is of paramount importance that they understand it and agree to adopt it. It involves defining the roles of the husband and wife and also there is provision of use of discipline.

By stating clearly the roles of each individual in a marriage it helps to avoid conflicts and misunderstanding among the husband and wife. The husband should be Head of Household who has the responsibility to guide his wife. The submission of the wife towards the authority of her husband is essential for this kind of relationship. The husband should be responsible for making all decisions. The wife should be obedient towards her husband. She can be involved in making decisions. But if her husband disagrees with her then she should consider her husbands decision as final.

Use of punishments is another aspect of DD. When the wife strays away she should be corrected. The husband is responsible for correcting his wife and she should accept the punishment as a consequence of her actions. Though this punishment could be of various forms and could be either physical or non physical. Spanking as a form of physical discipline is widely employed.

Introduction

2007-09-27T03:54:00.000+01:00

I am Lisa. After four years of marriage we have incorporated Domestic Discipline (DD) in our marriage. My husband is the Head of Household (HOH) and I am submissive to him.

Adopting DD lifestyle has been a turning point in our relationship. It brought the greatest change in our married life. It has been a long our journey for us down the path of DD. We had to learn so many things about it. Our relationship has evolved as we have progressed in our practice of DD.

The goal of DD is to achieve peace and harmony within the family by ensuring love and intimacy between the married couple through adoption of traditional roles for husband and wife. Though DD is such a wonderful arrangement between a consenting couple, still a lot of misconception is present among most of the people. It could be very difficult to explain this concept to the immidiate friend and family members or the people around us. But when I take a look around I can find that there are a lot of couples who believe in DD.